RE-GROUNDING

A single choice: will I live today? Really live?

Will today have meaning? Will I use my time wisely? Will I nourish my family, connect with my friends, and attend to my soul? Will I make a difference today?

Will I laugh, think and cry, as basketball coach Jim Valvano urged?

Valvano died of metastatic cancer just eight weeks after he taught just that during an Espy awards speech, where they tried to give him a time limit. HA! (PS. Take the 11 minutes to watch it if you haven’t already!)

Over the past year or two I’ve been busy with very important work – work that I believe will lead to meaningful change to those living with metastatic breast cancer. I am blessed to have had the opportunity to lead an organization in this work, to be a part of defining its future. I am grateful for the chance I had, for sharing it with leaders who care passionately about the work, and for the progress we have made. But serving as president of a growing non-profit has left time for little else. And so now I’m grateful for new opportunities on the horizon!

Stephen King’s quote from The Shawshank Redemption has been an imperative for me for since I first heard it, but never more so than since my metastatic diagnosis in 2011. I’m keenly aware of how short life is, and strive to make the most the days I am blessed to live. And I’ve learned that sometimes less is more…

Life is about change, about evolution. Life is about becoming. A teacher and rabbi of mine once told me that we only become more of ourselves as we age and/or face adversity. He’s probably right.

But despite the ever-present drive to do more, fix more, support more, take on more, change more, be more, I know that’s not necessarily “living.” I’ve had the last month or so to slow down, make more time for family and friends – and for me. It has allowed me to step back from my advocacy and look carefully how I spend my time, determining which projects I truly find life-affirming and which might be left to others.

So I stumbled upon this….

Some of these come more easily than others, but I’m going to look to it as a reminder of how I want to live – the choices I want to make. I’m using it as a reminder to reconnect with friends, to focus on my writing, to laugh, to think and to cry.

My Color-Coded Life

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Oh the joys of computers!

When it comes to my calendar I remain a “paper” girl at heart. I still look longingly at the rows of Franklin Planner cases in my office, reflections of years past. I am far more likely to remember what I write down. But I also find that if I’m too slow (as IF that happens) or I’m too busy (moi?), paper doesn’t work. Too slow and I forget to look in my datebook. Too busy, and I need the buzzing, pop-up reminder and nagging emails that my Google calendar provides. And lately, I’m TOO busy!

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Happy Tomorrow!

one_day_at_a_time_oceanAnother new year is about to roll in – time for a fresh start, resolutions and promises, leaving the past behind, beginning again, a tabula rasa. New Year’s holds the promise of change, of potential; an opportunity to wash away the old – our foibles and failures – and build something new.

Or does it?

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