Miss You Already…. (Spoilers)

Since I first came to hear and understand the challenges of living with metastatic breast cancer (MBC), the most central theme has been awareness. From accurate and specific awareness can flow better reserach, greater understanding, expanded support, and so much more. But without true awareness of the complex and weighty challenges faced by MBC patients, the world can hide behind pink and patients remain in the closet. 

Enter Miss You Already, a soon-to-be-released film by director Catherine Hardwicke and staring Drew Barrymore and Toni Collette. I think it’s a MUST SEE – not just for breast cancer patients, but for everyone…. 

Miss You Already tells the story of best friends – one unable to get pregnant, the other a mother of two young children diagnosed with TNBC which eventually spreads to her brain. We can all surmise the ending.

As we, the MBC community, focus our efforts on reaching well beyond our own numbers and our inner circles, sitting at the heart of a big screen Hollywood movie is a critical opportunity to help the public understand what it’s like from our side. And there was every chance it could have been a diaster, with more pink fluff, more happy endings, more sugar-coated bullshit. It’s not that, not at all!

In the years I have been dealing with MBC, I’ve never before felt that my story was being told. This time, it’s exactly my story – evidence that we are being heard, noticed, at last. Like Toni Collette’s character, I was first diagnosed as a young mother. I expereinced similar strainded relationships, discomfort, the idiosyncrasies and ironies, the profound ways it changes your life and your relationships, and the fight to find the “new normal.” Writer, director, actors – they have undertaken an incredible effort to remain true to the patient experience, and they have executed it brilliantly. 

Is it perfect? No…but it addresses countless minutia that could only be familiar to those who have walked in our shoes. I am honored to have been invited to preview the film, and hope you will check it out!

Opening Thursday at a theater near you…I give it 5 Kleneexs. Let’s see if we can give it a stronger opening than 007!

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Why Advocate?

There are times when I feel like I spend more time on breast cancer advocacy than I did on my half time job. It’s probably true…

So in the midst of my own almost-but-not-quite stable disease, why the long nights of reading grants, long days of travel and meetings, the long talks with researchers, the long days or planning, grant-writing, networking, and whatever else quickly fills my days? 

I recently closed a study that will serve as the basis of an abstract and poster entitled “In Our Shoes” and will seek to raise the collective voices of metastatic breast cancer patients around living with our disease. One respondent’s comment about how finances impacts her family offers the best possible answer for why I do what I do. 

I also know that the sooner I die, the more money my family will have. 

#Heartbroken

Of Ice Buckets and Silent Patients

Barbara Brenner, the first full-time Executive Director of Breast Cancer Action was a 2-time cancer survivor who died of ALS. Even when her voice was silenced by the disease, her writing continued to educate and inspire. She never stopped asking the tough questions, and persisted in her demand for answers. She is missed.

Even as our Facebook feeds rapidly fill with videos of some very cold people (as well as some Three Stooges-grade comedy), the controversy of the ALS Ice Bucket campaign is being challenged.

My take: people have done stranger things for a cause – buying and using carcinogenic products for “the cure” comes to mind. 

Wasting water? Some – yes, absolutely. But I’ve also seen friends stand in a pool and use pool water so that everything but what soaks their clothes is recycled.

Taking away from other charities? That could be. But if you didn’t know before, you probably do now – ALS is devastating. It is like dying from within. While your mind stays sharp, your body parts lose function – use of limbs, voice and even the ability to breathe are inevitable with this disease. I haven’t looked at the numbers in depth, but the ALS Association is well-rated and regardless, the needs of those living with ALS are most certainly worthy.

Are there better fundraising options? Probably. A campaign that will sustain the new funding levels would probably be the ideal option. And that may come. For now, the infusion of over $15.5 million dollars can, if used well, make a meaningful difference.

For me, here’s the biggest issue of all: while practically everyone has heard of Lou Gehrig’s disease, I fear too few of us knew what it was before the Ice Bucket Challenge began. Patients aren’t out and about much, and it’s easy to forget about them. Awareness and education, and helping ALS patients share their voice and their stories matters. It matters a great deal.

You probably know I’m not a huge fan of “awareness” campaigns – I do feel strongly that they need to be tied to action. As a person living with what is often referred to as a “bully disease,” I recognize that there are many levels of awareness. While we are all of breast cancer, inflammatory breast cancer, metaplastic breast cancer and metastatic breast cancer (to name a few), typically remain shrouded, and are not given the attention the severity of these diseases demand.

So, the ice water part is all in fun, but let’s pay careful attention to the heart of the matter: giving voice to patients and supporting an under-funded disease. If you don’t know what it’s like to live with ALS, please watch this video: 

Speak Up!

It’s an ironic title for my first blog post in over a month, I know. But its been a truly insane summer, and sadly there hasn’t been time to blog. I’m optimistic that today’s post will turn things around, so keep your fingers crossed for me!

 

So, here’s what prompted today’s thoughts: I had a follow-up doctor’s visit this morning. When we entered the exam room John pointed out a posted announcement of an upcoming program under the heading: Patients Invited. The event is an upcoming lecture about BRCA in this it’s 20th anniversary year. The slate of speakers was impressive, but it was clear something was missing. There wasn’t a patient/advocate in the bunch.

Interesting, huh? After all the progress we have made, when clinicians come together to discuss a topic that is, from the patient perspective, so deeply wrapped up in emotions, their voices don’t even make the agenda. More

An N of 1

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impglobal.org

The most recent roller coaster ride seems to be coming to an end, though that sounds remarkably like “famous last words” – never good!

For those keeping score, here’s the update:

About four months ago I started on my third-line treatment – everolimus and exemestane. I started the treatment with trepidation. After nearly three months it seemed, to me, that I wasn’t seeing the results I wanted. Tumor markers were rising (that’s not good) and the side effects weren’t great. So I started looking for “what’s next.” Time to look at my options – clinical trials.

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Third Line Therapy

Mphotoemories of another angst-filled day of sitting in bed waiting for the side effects of my first round of chemo playing tug-of-war with what I know must happen, I ask John to bring me my pills.

“The new ones?” he asks.

“I guess,” I grudgingly respond. Really, this is me? Really?

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The Measure of Time

CalendarLast week saw yet another CT scan and, unfortunately, some progression: albeit slowly, my cancer is growing again. And so I am now looking at my third-line treatment. I must admit, its all a little surreal. I was going to be that girl who got years on each successive therapy, denying to odds and beating down the doors of a ripe old age. Strike that – I AM going to be that girl, just not the way I planned.

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Vast Study Casts Doubts on Value of Mammograms – NYTimes.com

Vast Study Casts Doubts on Value of Mammograms – NYTimes.com.

#BCNext

We are constantly confronted by “breast cancer marketing,” the barrage of pink, from funding free mammograms and research, to supporting individuals with cancer, some of whom can’t even afford child care and transportation to treatment. We range from those with strong family histories, whether BRCA positive or not, to those enduring treatment, to long-time survivors with metastatic breast cancer, to those we have loved and lost. We are each the face of breast cancer.

In America, and I presume elsewhere, there is a great divide between those of us on the ground, living with and dying from cancer – and the other side of breast cancer, those who make funding decisions and allocations of both donated and allocated dollars, private, public and NGO.

If you could have their ear for a moment, if you could tell them what YOU think, what YOU see, what YOUR breast cancer priority is? What if your voice, combined with others like you, like me, could help influence our future?

Comment below or tweet to #BCNext to join the dialogue and spread the word! Let your voice ring out!

Our Seat at the Table

seat-at-the-tableThis is going to be one of those posts that’s going to get me in hot water. That’s ok – I’ve been there before!

This week is the annual San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium, perhaps the largest and most noteworthy of them all from which emanates some of the biggest Breast Cancer headlines. The magnificent Alamo Breast Cancer Foundation provides a truly INCREDIBLE service to advocates (even above and beyond their scholarship program) by bringing together top people to summarize the day’s headlines. Tonight’s “mentor session” was live-streamed thanks to Dr. Jay K. Harness at BreastCancerAnswers.com.

As always the presentations and questions were outstanding. One sparked a little discussion in the twitter feed.

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